Well, I haven’t had much to say lately. Anyway, here’s another blast from my Flash programming past - Pong:

One problem is that it seems very jerky embedded in a browser (most likely because the frame rate is 48 frames/sec), so here’s a direct link if you want to play it full-on. Right-click on it and save it to get the full effect.

I’ve gotta tell you folks, I’m pretty sick of Digg.com. The commenters are mostly retarded myspace kiddies and anti-Microsoft fanboys. I can’t tell you the number of Zune-bashing articles and comments have been on there, most with no relevant points, just a lot of "Micro$uck blows!!!11" I’m not here to defend Microsoft, but I’m sick of the same old "death to the evil empire, long live Apple" bullshit on every story. For my money, Slashdot does pretty much everything Digg does, but better. So eff you in the a, Digg. Rant over.

Well, I guess it’s a little late, but here’s my entry in the making fun of Ted Stevens contest (click to see full size):

PS - London Transit Authority, don’t sue. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

Cool Stuff:
I Wish I Could Gain Flesh - Old timey advert from the Modern Mechanix Blog; pretty wacky stuff!
God Jesus Toy Robot - Don’t panic, it’s not a real robot with the power of God Jesus - it’s just a toy. A totally bitchin’ toy with the power of God Jesus!!
Chico Marx on piano - Chico playing piano is my favorite part of any Marx Brothers movie. I don’t have much to say beyond the fact that that guy was effing awesome to the max!

So my host (Dreamhost) had a small outage last night, and I wasn’t able to update. I’m sure many of you were driven to the very brink of insanity by this, perhaps turning on your loved ones, resulting in a violent bloodbath. So, I’m sorry, and I’m sorry about that.

I’m watching ‘Dead Like Me’ right now, and it’s pretty hilarious. It was pretty funny, right up until the point where one guy said "Now order something, before she thinks you’re retarded" and that pretty much sealed the deal. Good stuff.

In other news: it’s effing hot to the maximum! I blame the sun. Actually, I blame the hippies - if they weren’t so gung-ho about saving the earth and just let me enact my whole-earth cooling plan, this heat wave would never have happened. "But Josh," they said, "it’s immoral to block out the sun, and we can’t find a 50 square mile ice cube to place in front of your colossal oscillating fan, and it’s immoral to use poor retarded children as biofuel for your colossal oscillating fan, and you can’t build the colossal oscillating fan there because it’s an Indian Reservation." Bitch, bitch, bitch, you god-damn hippies! You’re so negative! PS, fuck those Indians, freeloadin’ bastards. If they knew anything, they wouldn’t all be dead, right?

Cool Stuff:
Jon Stewart on Net Neutrality - I was waiting to see what he would say about this tubes thing, and Jon Stewart does not disappoint!
The worst video game opening screens of all time - Hilarious. I never knew there was a ‘warehouse game,’ but I have to play it.
Dead Rising banned in Germany - A new zombie video game has been banned in Germany because of concerns over the level of violence shown being done to the poor defenseless zombies. I can see the zombie propaganda machine has gotten to you too, Germany! Damn you zombies! Damn you all to hell!
Che-Mart - Must buy shirts. You may have had a scintillating conversation with me at one time about how much I hate those douchebags who wear Che shirts despite the fact that he was a dispicable murdering scumbag. These shirts are awesome.

So the fireworks just ended, and there is still approximately a metric assload of people hanging out on my street. Fuckers.

Anyway, I can actually look out my window and see the fireworks perfectly. But what I do, is when the grand finale happens, I look down into my backyard. All the fireworks going off in a short time, but with tiny location differences, creates this really bitchin’ strobe-light effect on the entire yard, so it looks like a really awesome version of the Enter Sandman video (only without the crappy metallica).

Cool Stuff:
The Internet is made of tubes - "an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday." - this is destined to become a geek classic, possibly the next ‘all your base are belong to us.’
Innappropriate talk show laughter - I’m a big bastard, because I laughed so hard at this video. It’s not in english, so here’s the situation: it’s a show about medical mishaps. The lady in the wheelchair’s spine was injured during surgery or something, and the man with the high voice - wait for it - had his balls removed by accident. So right away you have to feel sorry for these people, but at the same time…well, just watch, and try, just TRY not to laugh!
Incredibly fat person becomes one with her couch - a woman apparently sat on her couch for so long that her skin actually grafted itself into the couch. And then she died, which is sad, but since I don’t know her and it’s really gross, I guess it’s not too sad. This is, however, a good warning against not changing your underpants regularly. And it also means that if I hold a lot of cupcakes for a really long time, the cupcakes will graft themselves to my hands, and I will always have cupcakes. And then I’ll be super-popular, because everybody likes cupcakes.
Crazy optical illusion - Normally I don’t post stuff like optical illusions, but this is pretty wacky.

How-dee, kids! It’s looking to be a good week for writing, I can feel it.

Today I was perusing Flickr and I came across some awesome pictures. So here, for your viewing pleasure, is a little something I call “Inanimate Objects Will Kill Us All!” Click the small pictures to see ‘em big.

Our first hero, unaware that God is about to push the history eraser button above his head.

Our second hero, minutes away from grim watery death.

This unfortunate soul is trapped between a giant exclamation point and a giant sandwich. The humanity!

Here’s The Flash trying to get away from a tsunami by running up the side of Jabba the Hut.

And finally, my favorite: Beach Logs KILL!! This sign is so funny I almost died laughing today. First of all, that log is pissed off to the max. Second, that kid in the middle totally isn’t gonna make it. And third, the dude with the pail seems to think he’s controlling the log somehow, waving it on saying “Yessss! Feed, my precious! Kill! Kill!”

Here’s one more pic of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in his early pre-sailor/pre-city-terrorizing days:

It’s probably just me, but I can’t stop looking at the cups. They’re both facing exactly the same way, and for some reason those arches are hypnotizing. Weird.